Nihilma blog

Steve was kind enough to wish me well on my ventures, so I thought I'd make an update thread here as well. I think there's no need to tell of the consistency to expect of my posting here.

God has been kind to me, as always. I'm in the middle of an internship in a bakery / pastry shop of a week for the owners to see if they want to keep me in an apprenticeship. As of now, this is what I've bet all my money on, so to speak. It's one of the best shops in town, and this is not to flaunt on the french food culture, but it means it really is a place with a high degree of quality and therefore talent. So it's not sure at all they'll keep me, I have to work really hard to get to their standards. God willing, I make it, otherwise my plans will have to be reformed a bit.

It's now almost certain that I'll at one point become an orthodox catechumen. This is without the slightest disdain or discontent with my protestant upbringing and entourage, which I love, appreciate, respect and admire for their piety. I am however convinced of a fullness found within this Church. When that is done is however unsure, as I want to, if possible, go through with this transition without creating an unnecessary rupture within my family. We'll see about how it goes.

It's close to the hiking season again, I've already got some things planned. I'm going to start running again, in the hopes of getting some cardio back for the trekks. I'll probably send photos here. I plan on hiking in the Vercors (pic related) once again. It's the mountain rage of my whole childhood, the biggest natural reserve of metropolitan France and just a wonderful place. I'll go in the Chartreuse too, in the Belledone mountain rage, probably, and we'll see after that. As always, it'll mostly be hikes in duo, with one to three nights in tent. This is the best way to do it imo, for it gives the space and time necessary to really allow profound discussions with whomever you hike with.

The 4chan hack was weird and fun to watch, except for the excessive spam of DNB, TND, and real woman and sexual baiting which followed. I discovered the community of the 'cuck, and it was different than what I imagined it being. Way more minbdroken by porn than I thought, but also diverse. /biz/ seems like a cool community, even if I don't give the first care about such methods of making money. /nate/ was a hellhole, so were /pol/ and /a/. Interestingly, /tv/ had nothing about tv shows, and was just about lusting about stars and Shit Absolutely No One In the World Would Ever Imagine Giving A Shit About. Sad to see that the whole of the sharty's pph came from them though, and the moment the 'cuck got back online, all the new interesting boards died.

That's about it for now on my side, thanks for cheking in. Again, God bless, and Christ is Risen.

 

[Nihilma]

just face it, your entire religion is used as an excuse to allow for swarthoids to pollute the west. if you had any sense you would’ve disavowed it since you hate brown people sooo much

>I hate brown people
You should take a closer look at my pfp for a few seconds I think.

 

[jim🅱️o]

You're such a pussy omg, I would beat your ass senseless

the cacaot pedophile who posts half naked pictures of himself and goons to 8yos thinks he can beat my ass senseless, good joke tell me another one

 

[_73]

You're such a pussy omg, I would beat your ass senseless

>I could literally beat you up dude

 

[Barry]

So reformed.

8 days before this happened was a new world record for him

 

[Charges officer?]

the cacaot pedophile who posts half naked pictures of himself and goons to 8yos thinks he can beat my ass senseless, good joke tell me another one

>I made up a quazi-fantasy about you, you're are a degenerate GOONER pedo
yeah sure buddy dummy

>I could literally beat you up dude

he's a bloatlord that is too scared to post face on the internet

 

[Hillel Hartmann (Pedo)]

I MISSED THAT POINTLESS dummyED BICKERING

 

[jim🅱️o]

he's a bloatlord that is too scared to post face on the internet

you’d jerk off to it

 

[Charges officer?]

you’d jerk off to it

are you fucking dummyed? What is wrong with you, fucking projecting all over here

 

[Nihilma]

you’d jerk off to it

Says the guy who probably beats of to a gender neutral child created by a mentally ill person who cremated xyr testicles. I'm saying this, seeing how obsessed he is with xyr.
Literally the kettle calling the pot black.

 

[Sloppyjakky`]

Jimbo doesn't get nudes from terrycrews and goes on a crashout (gone wrong)

 

[Nihilma]

My intership week ended, overall on a very positive note. As this internship really was just a big interview for an apprenticeship there, my goal was achieved. There are good chances I'll be taken there, God be praised.
I wish you all a peaceful weekend. God bless.

 

[worldatwar]

you should heal from the Christcuck disease i’ve heard the cure is to stop believing in fairytales

only keyed thing jimbo has said in the entirety of his endeavors here

 

[rap soon nick gurr]

the cacaot pedophile who posts half naked pictures of himself and goons to 8yos thinks he can beat my ass senseless, good joke tell me another one

what are you talking about?

 

[Nihilma]

Work​

As I've stated on my status a few days ago. I've started my training as a french pastry chef, as well, I'm french duh, and I quit college.

It's hard to overstate how good it is to finally work with my hands, like actually just spend time and energy into a manual labor. It feels good.
It's pretty tiring.
I usually work 8 hours a day without counting overtime, without any pause, barely a lunch break if I work beyond 1pm (Working hours are usually 4am - 12am/1pm with overtime). You have to move constantly, to work fast, and work on a pretty low work station (I'm 190cms tall, which forces me to hunch over to reach the work station. It kills my back.)

But I like the job. It's very interesting, it's a very technical job that demands attention, precision, endurance and speed. The best pastry chefs in France are superhumans and geniuses at their art. And again, I prefer that over learning by heart 60+ pages of SNCA to get a useless degree.​

Interests & Hobbys​

I started swimming again sporadically. It's a sport I like, I might end up spending more and more time at the city's pool. It's a pretty complete sport, in the sense that it works most of the body save a few things, which means it's mostly sufficient in and of itself. It's also the only real cardio sport I like. I dislike running a lot.

I started reading again. Currently reading "Night without stars" by Thomas Merton, it's an autobiography from of a catholic monk of the 20th century. It's a good read, as it's well written, but for now, I haven't felt a real attachment to the book.

I wanna start writing again. It's my long time life project that I've always dreamt of putting in action, but never fealt like I had the sufficient skill to start. I don't know how to start.
​

The more important issue : social life​

I've realized that I don't know how to live my interpersonnal and social life, or at least it seems that way to me. I either don't know how to or don't want to make friends with people. I have very few people I can actually call friends, it's not that I have none.
But even online, it seems that I lack the correct understanding of how human interaction works and how to actually behave normally with people for me to get "friendly" with them.

I have realized how much I overcomplicate stuff, by being too polite, too sophisticated, too cautious maybe even, and ironically too self centered to actually ever manage to create a friendly and simple relation. People have critized me on that especially in reguards to my relationship with girls.

I apparently overcomplicate stuff to such a degree in order to perfectly control any interaction I have that I actually end up ruining them. It's pretty tiring. I don't know what the solution is. This even appears to be the case online, as said. I think people might see me as a fake person, or something like that. Idk.

Thank you for reading and being patient with me.​

 

[Nihilma]

Some of the stuff I made at pastry school.

 

[_73]

just face it, your entire religion is used as an excuse to allow for swarthoids to pollute the west. if you had any sense you would’ve disavowed it since you hate brown people sooo much

his entire religion is used as an excuse to allow jimbos to pollute the west?

 

[Sloppyjakky`]

View attachment 53747View attachment 53748
Some of the stuff I made at pastry school.

mogs my cooking
JFL :3

 

[Nihilma]

Getting good at pastry making is hard, mostly because it means getting faster at the job. And I have a few problems, namely I'm slow and have a very very poor attention. This makes me forget things from time to time, and not be able to listen while working, or to pay attention to multiple things at the time.

It's tough, but I'm positive I'll learn.

I'm slowly starting to wonder if I don't wanna genuinely become a monk. I'm still thinking about what I wanna do with my life as a whole, and have made a few realisations :

1. I romanticize marriage way too much : Marriage is way more painful then a lot of us make it out to be. I think there's a lot of just wanting to get laid in this, and making a life altering decision based on a sexual impulse seems like a bad idea. Life in the world is painful no matter what you do, I'm starting to really realize it.
2. I wanna live my life for God, and I mean that's the only thing that can really give me peace I believe. That's the thing I wanna invest into, not the pain of the world.

I have to still think about it. Becoming a monk isn't painless either. But to me rn, it seems like the only sensible thing to do. Anyway it isn't for rn anyways. If I become a novice in a monastery, it'll be in a couple of years anyway.

 

[Nihilma]

Heya, here's some new stuff I made.

My spiritual father, the hieromonk we invited home to talk and share a meal, proposed me to do my chrismation on the feast of the nativity. High chance this won't happen, Christmas is the most active period for pastry shops, we all work on Christmas day. We'll see.

Work is hard btw.
I do at meast 40 hours a week of work, might go to 50 for the three weeks of december till Christmas. It's great though, I love working. My sleep has been greatly affected though.

 

[baqqrih]

Getting good at pastry making is hard, mostly because it means getting faster at the job. And I have a few problems, namely I'm slow and have a very very poor attention. This makes me forget things from time to time, and not be able to listen while working, or to pay attention to multiple things at the time.

It's tough, but I'm positive I'll learn.

I'm slowly starting to wonder if I don't wanna genuinely become a monk. I'm still thinking about what I wanna do with my life as a whole, and have made a few realisations :

1. I romanticize marriage way too much : Marriage is way more painful then a lot of us make it out to be. I think there's a lot of just wanting to get laid in this, and making a life altering decision based on a sexual impulse seems like a bad idea. Life in the world is painful no matter what you do, I'm starting to really realize it.
2. I wanna live my life for God, and I mean that's the only thing that can really give me peace I believe. That's the thing I wanna invest into, not the pain of the world.

I have to still think about it. Becoming a monk isn't painless either. But to me rn, it seems like the only sensible thing to do. Anyway it isn't for rn anyways. If I become a novice in a monastery, it'll be in a couple of years anyway.

I happen to share your feelings regarding a future of monastic life (I wrote a bit more about this interest on the Chife, it won't allow me to embed a link for some reason but here, just remove the space: https://ch uds.life/threads/this-year-went-flying.3215/#post-60704).

It's a pathway that I've been considering these past few months when thinking about my future, as young as I am and as undeveloped as my knowledge really is about our faith. Still, it'd obviously be more difficult in America--which has a very light history of monastic communities (especially Orthodox monasteries; they're certainly present here, just far and few)--to actually pursue such a dedication, but I feel it'd bring me the most joy out of my options, ultimately.