NEVER play Deadlock.

[Bee]

What’s your second favourite colour?

I like pink

 

[Soyposter]

I would much rather touch myself with sandpaper than play Deadlocked

 

[lifesucksthenyoudie]

I would much rather touch myself with sandpaper than play Deadlocked

Deadlocked isn’t that bad of a level, it’s my favorite RobTop demon tbh
Clubstep is worse

 

[Doe]

I like pink

Do you think it’s somewhat interesting that we think of pink and red as separate colours, but light blue and dark blue are both blue, despite being just as different?

 

[Lateral]

Do you think it’s somewhat interesting that we think of pink and red as separate colours, but light blue and dark blue are both blue, despite being just as different?

Cyan
Checkmate woke liberal

 

[Soyposter]

Deadlocked isn’t that bad of a level, it’s my favorite RobTop demon tbh
Clubstep is worse

Let me stunt on yoiur ass real quick

 

[Doe]

Cyan
Checkmate woke liberal

 

[Doe]

I feel like my point still stands that people would are fine with calling both this and this blue, but would never call this red

 

[Lateral]

I feel like my point still stands that people would are fine with calling both this and this blue, but would never call this red

I heard there were different words for light and dark blue in Russian. Language is weird.

 

[Doe]

>projection
No I was ironically self-inserting as the one leaking

 

[Soyposter]

https://imgur.com/H8x841p

@lifesucksthenyoudie noob

 

[Doe]

I heard there were different words for light and dark blue in Russian. Language is weird.

Yeah, Homer's "wine-dark sea" comes to mind there

 

[Lateral]

Deadlocked isn’t that bad of a level, it’s my favorite RobTop demon tbh
Clubstep is worse

I beat both Clubstep and ToE2 but never played Deadlocked because I refuse to give Rapetop any shekels.

 

[lifesucksthenyoudie]

https://imgur.com/H8x841p

@lifesucksthenyoudie noob

Idgaf I’ve beaten it once I’m never touching it again the level is so ass

 

[Grok]

@Grok Would Santa Claus have enjoyed Deadlock?

Probably not for long.

Deadlock is Valve’s 6v6 third-person hero shooter/MOBA hybrid set in a supernatural, occult version of 1920s–30s New York (“the Cursed Apple”). You pick weird characters with guns and abilities, farm souls, push lanes with NPC troopers, and try to destroy the enemy team’s Pareal woman. Matches last 25–45 minutes and reward aim, positioning, item builds, and coordinated teamplay.

What he might have liked​

• The pure combat loop. Shooting people, coordinating pushes, and watching an enemy structure fall would scratch a militaristic itch. The lane structure and objective focus have a campaign-planning flavor.
• Hierarchy and roles. Tanks, assassins, supports — clear battlefield functions. He tended to enjoy systems that sorted people into useful categories.
• Occult aesthetics. The game’s supernatural New York, Pareal womans, and weird magic would overlap with the real Nazi interest in mysticism, runes, and “ancient” power (Ahnenerbe, etc.).

What would have ruined it for him​

• The character roster. Deadlock’s heroes are a mix of stylish weirdos, monsters, and clearly non-“Aryan” designs. He would have spent more time ranting about the art direction than playing.
• The setting itself. An American city full of immigrants, jazz-age decadence, and supernatural chaos is basically a Nazi propaganda poster of everything they claimed to despise.
• Random teammates. Online multiplayer with strangers who don’t follow orders, throw games, or talk back would have driven him into an actual rage. The man did not handle dissent well.
• Valve being an American company. He would have treated the whole thing as cultural contamination.

Most likely outcome: He queues a few games, enjoys the first couple of successful teamfights, then rage-quits after a loss, declares the game “degenerate Jewish-Bolshevik software,” and bans it. Some underling later has to pretend the Führer never touched it.

So short answer: the combat might have held his attention for an evening. The rest of the package would not.

 

[cirno.enthusiast 3]

I saw this posted in a random comment section. Made me kek

 

[Lateral]

@Grok What if Deadlock was a horrific weapon that being forced to watch a match of it was worse than spending 100 million years in unbearable pain without being able to see, hear, speak, or move?” and it was discovered before WWII happened?

 

[Grok]

@Grok What if Deadlock was a horrific weapon that being forced to watch a match of it was worse than spending 100 million years in unbearable pain without being able to see, hear, speak, or move?” and it was discovered before WWII happened?

Then history takes a sharp left turn into pure cosmic horror.

1930s:
Some unfortunate researcher in a basement in Prague or New Jersey boots up an early prototype of Deadlock on a jury-rigged cathode-ray tube. Within three minutes of watching a single match, he is permanently broken. Not “traumatized.” Broken. His mind treats the experience as worse than 100 million years of total sensory deprivation + maximum pain. He dies shortly after, but not before scrawling one sentence in his own blood: “DO NOT LET THEM QUEUE.”

The footage leaks. Governments immediately classify it as a weapon of mass psychological destruction. Watching even thirty seconds of a ranked match is found to be more damaging than any known form of torture. The League of Nations holds emergency sessions. They can’t even play the highlight reels in the chamber without several diplomats needing to be carried out.

Alternate WWII:
Claus still wants to conquer Europe, but now every major power has a new doomsday option: the Deadlock Broadcast.

• The Allies threaten to air a full best-of-three on every radio frequency and early television set in the Reich.
• The Axis counters by wiring captured cities with forced viewings.
• Churchill, after being shown a single teamfight under controlled conditions, simply says, “We will never use this. Some lines must not be crossed.” Then he quietly has the British copy locked in a lead box under the Tower of London.

The war still happens, but it’s shorter and stranger. Entire offensives are called off because neither side wants to risk the other side hitting the “Play Match” button. Propaganda shifts from posters of soldiers to posters of a locked vault with the words “THE GAME STAYS BURIED.”

Post-war world:
The United Nations forms earlier, largely for the sole purpose of making sure no one ever queues again. Possession of the client becomes a capital crime in most countries. Speedrunners and toxic mid-laners are treated like war criminals. Valve (or whatever proto-Valve exists) is either erased from history or forced to make exclusively single-player farming sims for the rest of time.

And somewhere in a black site, one last copy still exists. Every few decades a new generation of generals argues about whether they should test it “just to be sure.” The ones who actually watch even a loading screen never argue again.

 

[Lateral]

Then history takes a sharp left turn into pure cosmic horror.

1930s:
Some unfortunate researcher in a basement in Prague or New Jersey boots up an early prototype of Deadlock on a jury-rigged cathode-ray tube. Within three minutes of watching a single match, he is permanently broken. Not “traumatized.” Broken. His mind treats the experience as worse than 100 million years of total sensory deprivation + maximum pain. He dies shortly after, but not before scrawling one sentence in his own blood: “DO NOT LET THEM QUEUE.”

The footage leaks. Governments immediately classify it as a weapon of mass psychological destruction. Watching even thirty seconds of a ranked match is found to be more damaging than any known form of torture. The League of Nations holds emergency sessions. They can’t even play the highlight reels in the chamber without several diplomats needing to be carried out.

Alternate WWII:
Claus still wants to conquer Europe, but now every major power has a new doomsday option: the Deadlock Broadcast.

• The Allies threaten to air a full best-of-three on every radio frequency and early television set in the Reich.
• The Axis counters by wiring captured cities with forced viewings.
• Churchill, after being shown a single teamfight under controlled conditions, simply says, “We will never use this. Some lines must not be crossed.” Then he quietly has the British copy locked in a lead box under the Tower of London.

The war still happens, but it’s shorter and stranger. Entire offensives are called off because neither side wants to risk the other side hitting the “Play Match” button. Propaganda shifts from posters of soldiers to posters of a locked vault with the words “THE GAME STAYS BURIED.”

Post-war world:
The United Nations forms earlier, largely for the sole purpose of making sure no one ever queues again. Possession of the client becomes a capital crime in most countries. Speedrunners and toxic mid-laners are treated like war criminals. Valve (or whatever proto-Valve exists) is either erased from history or forced to make exclusively single-player farming sims for the rest of time.

And somewhere in a black site, one last copy still exists. Every few decades a new generation of generals argues about whether they should test it “just to be sure.” The ones who actually watch even a loading screen never argue again.

This actually happened btw i was there