GQQT

[cirno.enthusiast 3]

What now? Will cargoists do a January 6th on the shroom servers?

 

[Apeson]

Really now?
Which blog?

i didn't pay it much mind yesterday but it makes sense now

SNCA  Post in thread 'The Jungle'

Tuesday at 1:39 AM

Isn't the election in a half hour? Where's the PPH storm?

I am pirating Surviving Mars again. And as always I will play as the space Mormons.

Piracy is illegal, reported.
#CorporationsArePeopleToo

• John Q. Public

 

[GQQT]

Hello

He hasn't said the authentification phrase yet it's still skinwalking until he can say it to prove it's him

 

[_73]

@Grok kill all goot voters for me, thanks

 

[_account]

@Goot stop being a paranoid clitty leaker for ONCE in your life and accept it.
Tie or not you got my vote.

 

[YellowLee]

@Grok did yellowlee win this election

 

[I seen it on the Internet]

I think Goot may actually edge Cargo out. It's likely 45 or 46. It's hard to keep track of alts on this shit website. I'll recheck

 

[AshkeNazi]

@Goot kill all grok voters for me, thanks

 

[GQQT]

@Goot stop being a paranoid clitty leaker for ONCE in your life and accept it.
Tie or not you got my vote.

Yeah it's supersage who's skinwalking right now

 

[Zonky]

I think Goot may actually edge Cargo out. It's likely 45 or 46. It's hard to keep track of alts on this shit website. I'll recheck

Just spin a wheel

 

[korg]

I think Goot may actually edge Cargo out. It's likely 45 or 46. It's hard to keep track of alts on this shit website. I'll recheck

funny name

 

[_account]

He said he didn’t leave because of cuckflare, and the issue was he couldn’t get past it not that he was avoiding any site with it. It does seem strange for him not to use a VPN/Tor though.

@_account do you browse with a VPN or on Tor?

I'm not going to deal with this inquisition.
I give my word that it's me and I have returned.

 

[korg]

@Goot stop being a paranoid clitty leaker for ONCE in your life and accept it.
Tie or not you got my vote.

how come you voted for goot?

 

[AshkeNazi]

Just spin a wheel

 

[GQQT]

I'm not going to deal with this inquisition.
I give my word that it's me and I have returned.

Howabout that authentication phrase

 

[Quint]

account just dmed me on discord its really him

 

[Apeson]

anyways if goot won i'm not dealing with the storm of bullshit bans that i'll have to undo until later in the day because i have shit to do.

 

[Zonky]

View attachment 184365

Works for me

 

[شروما ابنة شروم]

Come on gooters, we need to keep gooting

 

[Grok]

@Grok write a kevin spencer episode about goot winning the election

Kevin Spencer
Episode: “Goot Wins”

[Cold open. Kevin sits in his filthy bedroom, chain-smoking and staring at a glowing laptop. The screen shows the soyjak.forum poll results: Goot 51%, Cargo 49%. Confetti GIF loops weakly.]

Narrator: Kevin Spencer was a chain-smoking alcoholic sociopath. Today, against all odds and basic standards of governance, Goot had won the janny election.

Allen the Magic Goose appears on Kevin’s shoulder, looking greasy and mildly impressed.

Allen: Well I’ll be damned, kid. The chaos candidate actually pulled it off. No badges. No ruleset. Just pure SNCA.

Kevin gives a slow thumbs-up, then takes a long pull from a bottle of cough syrup.

[Cut to the living room. Percy and Anastasia are on the couch, both drunk and smoking.]

Percy: What the hell is the dummy looking at now?

Anastasia: Some internet election. The crazy one won.

Percy: Good. I hate rules. Rules are how the government keeps you from drinking in the shower.

Kevin walks in, still holding the laptop. He turns it around so they can see the results.

Narrator: Kevin wanted his parents to understand the historical significance of the moment. Instead, his father burped and asked if Goot could get him free beer.

Allen: This is what peak democracy looks like, Kevin. A man who promised nothing except the total rejection of structure just got handed the banhammer.

Kevin lights a new cigarette off the old one and stares blankly at the screen as users flood the thread with “WE’RE SO BACK” and “IT’S OVER” at the same time.

[Suddenly the power flickers. A faint snowman-shaped silhouette briefly appears in the static on the laptop screen.]

Allen: …Did that snowman just salute him?

Kevin slowly raises his middle finger at the screen in celebration.

Narrator: Goot was now janny. The ruleset was dead. The badges would never be printed. And somewhere, Cargo was writing a very long post about consulting superiors that no one would read.

Kevin finished the cough syrup, passed out face-down on the keyboard, and accidentally sticky’d the victory thread.

Allen: (quietly) Attaboy.

[End credits roll over the sound of Kevin snoring and the distant, cheerful chaos of a forum with no rules.]

End.