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The Cheyenne Codices

You ask if I'm doing alright
No, I'm not doing good
Cause I can't do nothing right
Smoking and drinking every single night
To get her out my mind
Just know that I try

Take a look into my eyes
And say that you love me,
Baby, don't lie.
It's all shit and so I reach into my bag
And grab a pack of cigs
And I smoke it outside

Drinking alcohol alone in my room
Thinking of how warm your hand was
On that night
Bottle after bottle ruining myself
While I'm thinking of you until I cry
Every morning, suicide on my mind
Try to ignore these feelings but I've lost the will to fight
 
I can't wait until I can post pictures. It's an adorable little trailer. It's the perfect vibe for me. I'm sleeping in that bitch as soon as I get it home
Alright, I think I'm safe.
Screenshot_20260925_194252_Facebook.jpg Screenshot_20260925_194254_Facebook.jpg Screenshot_20260925_194257_Facebook.jpg Screenshot_20260925_194259_Facebook.jpg
 
Pictures don't even do it justice. I saw the marketplace pictures a week ago and was still blown away when I actually walked in. I'll post a video walking through when I pick it up (hopefully tomorrow)
Also, now that I think about it; despite the water damage and it apparently sitting there for 10 years, it didn't have any smell at all. It didn't even have that "old smell".
And I was so worried that the tires would be fucked, but they were totally fine. They were fully inflated without the slightest sign of dry-rot
They really don't make things like they used to.
Even after talking them down to $1,400 it's a miracle that it is in such good shape for the price I paid. I couldn't be anymore blessed to have found it. The people selling it were lovely, also.
Today was one of the best days I've had in a while and I'm so grateful for that. Everything is going to be better than I could have hoped.
 
I still haven't asked about getting a cat, shouldn't be a problem now. Anyway, if I do, we're basically planning to park the two trailers next to eachother with a closed in area between them. I'd be able to "share" my dogs with my dad and stepmom, which means I'd also be able to have Dolly meet my cat and they can be best friends and cuddle and be dummyed together and I think that's just incredible. Great stuff. I will kill myself if they don't get along, I think.
 
Got the trailer home without issue. Not gonna do much moving tonight. Might take some pictures inside later but it's dark and i didn't bother hooking up the electricity yet so maybe not.
Thank you, Claus.
 
Taking Tuesday and Wednesday off work to move some stuff into my trailer. Feels weird having it in my driveway, but it really lifts my mood. To think I'll be living in it on my own soon is bewildering. Might sleep in it tonight just to get used to it.
Shit, I have to buy sheets for the bed, I don't think anyone in my house has used a twin bed in years. Will probably just throw a blanket on it until I get paid. Wawa.
 
Drinking alcohol alone in my room
Thinking of how warm your hand was
On that night
Bottle after bottle ruining myself
While I'm thinking of you until I cry
Every morning, suicide on my mind
Try to ignore these feelings but I've lost the will to fight
Fuck this song is so good. Fuck my life but I gotta lock in tonight so who cares it's over and that's okay
 
She says I've been surviving lost
And I don't mean the poison's gone
And I feel drained inside, you know
Die with me and I'll be yours

And I know you hope that I'm in denial of love
And I know you'll only see me in this cell
Hiding and taken to the back of all reason
If I only knew you wouldn't dance for my money
Only this I know: the time I've seen alone

She finds the things that say I'm gone
Inside I weep and die alone
She said "don't be excitable"
The night is deep, I'll die alone

She has a dream, wish I hadn't gone
Inside I weep, inside I'm gone
She's saving pain and hiding hope
Inside of me, I've been grown
 
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She says I've been surviving lost
And I don't mean the poison's gone
And I feel drained inside, you know
Die with me and I'll be yours

And I know you hope that I'm in denial of love
And I know you'll only see me in this cell
Hiding and taken to the back of all reason
If I only knew you wouldn't dance for my money
Only this I know: the time I've seen alone

She finds the things that say I'm gone
Inside I weep and die alone
She said "don't be excitable"
The night is deep, I'll die alone

She has a dream, wish I hadn't gone
Inside I weep, inside I'm gone
She's hiding and hiding hope
Inside of me, I've been grown
 

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