>Sorry ribbon. If it makes you feel better, it was never in the creepy sexual way and I would genuinely want to form a healthy relationship with you. But I'm not the man for this task.
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minecraft: oldcaca kulchur or cacaslop?

Depends.
Any version past 1.9 is absolute shitslop, not even slop just straight up shit.
Anything below 1.9 is aryanchow
Anything below 1.7.10 is gemslop
Anything below 1.3 is gem.
 
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